I was given the opportunity to write a sermon for a teen service at a local synagogue. Enjoy!
When I agreed to write the shortest sermon ever, I was given a hint that this year’s theme is the “Selfie” generation. So I looked up the
world selfie on none other than “Urban Dictionary”. I was going to share a
definition but pretty much none of the definitions were really appropriate to
repeat in synagogue, and definitely not on the day G-d determines if my next
year I will be happy or better yet, overrun by wild beasts.
In taking selfies, we take a snapshot of ourselves. We see
ourselves through our own smartphone screens, and our own eyes. We take pride
in our selfies, and proliferate them heavily on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Since selfies are just snapshots- captures of who you are at that
given moment, I wanted to go deeper, and tell you where we come from.
By 1446 BCE we had been slaves in Egypt for about 400 years when
Moses, with the help of G-d, convinced Pharoah Thutmose the III to let us go.
We packed up what we could and started the trek through the Sinai Peninsula,
now in modern day Egypt, to return to the Promised Land. About half way through
our journey, G-d gave us the Torah- the five books of Moses- the bible. Process
that for a minute- we, the Jews, were given the original source of universal
human values. And look at the world’s largest religion- Christianity- if it
wasn’t for us, they wouldn’t be here.
In 1406 BCE we arrived to the Promised Land. Since we were enslaved in Egypt for hundreds of years, the Caananites had taken up shop. They
weren’t ready to budge and fought us for the land. They aren’t around anymore.
Once we moved in, the Philistines, an ancient sea faring
people who lived in the area of Gaza fought us for hundreds of years. They were
our arch nemesis. Goliath was a Philistine. Thankfully, they were defeated by
the Assyrians and by the 5th century BCE, ceased to exist.
In the year 586 BCE the Babylonians, led by King
Nebuchadnezzar, destroyed our first holy temple and exiled us from Israel to
Babylonia, modern day Iraq and Syria. The Babylonians aren’t around anymore,
and we were allowed to return by the conquering Persians to rebuild our temple.
In the 2nd century BCE, the Seleucid empire,
under King Antiochus, tried to ransack the Temple, but thanks to the Maccabees
and one vile of miraculous olive oil, we beat them AND we got a holiday where
we get presents and eat enlarged tater tots that put school lunches to
shame. Oh, did I forget to mention? The Seleucids
aren’t around anymore.
In the year 70 the Romans finished off what the Seleucids
were hoping to do- they destroyed our holy temple and kicked almost every last
one of us out of the land of Israel. They renamed it “Palestina” as an insult
to us, reminding us of the Philistines who caused us so much grief. Well, the
Romans aren’t around and all we have left of them is a salad named Caesar that
is traditionally made with anchovies. Yum.
In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Unfortunately, the
Jews didn’t have it so easy. The Catholic Monarchs established the Spanish
Inquisition, where we were attacked, forced to convert to Christianity, banished
from Spain, or killed. The monarchy in
Spain was officially abolished in 1834. Nowadays, the half bald monks in frocks who
used to run the tribunals are sworn to lives of silence, poverty, childlessness
and eternal janitorial work.
Fast forward to the 1800s, under the Russian Czars, we were
victims of constant Pogroms- nighttime raids that left our villages plundered
and burning, and our people hurting. In 1917 the Czars fell. Remember Anastasia?
The Russians weren’t done yet though, and under the new regime called the Union
of Soviet Socialist Republics, or USSR, religion was cancelled. We weren’t
allowed to be publicly Jewish, and our holy books were banned. In the late 80s,
however, the USSR fell and all of its provinces broke up into little
independent countries. Now Russia is left with a president named Putin who runs
amuck topless in the wilderness while riding bareback on grizzly bears.
And now to one of the darkest times in our history, the Holocaust:
6 million of us were murdered. That’s the entire population of Arizona. By the
end of the war, Germany was completely decimated and the Nazi party was
crushed. They’re not around anymore, and people who want to be their copycats in
Germany are outright banned and thrown in jail. The few surviving Nazi officers
are being hunted to the ends of the earth and are thrown in prison in their 80s
and 90s. We, although badly broken and bruised, survived.
Since the Romans kicked us out of Israel we have been
yearning to return, and in 1948 an independent country of Israel was restored.
After all of our hardship, we were reunited with our homeland, our mother ship,
the center of our people. You and I could have been born in any other year, in
any other decade. But no, we were born now- we, unlike our great grandparents
and all those in the last 2,000 years who came before, are witness to this
great Jewish state. We are Israel’s founding fathers and mothers. We are the rebuilders of Jerusalem.
Unfortunately, our next battle is already upon us, and that
is our fight for legitimacy. We are once again under attack. Our enemy since
1948- most of the Arab world, doesn’t want us to exist. Here at home, we are faced on Social Media
with mean words, with falsified pictures, with lies about our brothers and
sisters in Israel, and with attempts to ruin us by groups like the Boycott,
Divestment, and Sanctions movement, Students for Justice in Palestine, and
Jewish Voice for Peace.
But have you seen the Middle East lately? Iraq is in shambles, Syria doesn’t really exist anymore, Gaza was reduced to rubble by
Hamas’ foolishness, the Arab Spring has seen the overthrow of every government
in North Africa, and the Islamic State is killing every minority in its path.
Throughout our history, there is a common thread. It is they who have perished. It is they who have become another chapter in
the history book. And it is us who
have always survived. We are a miraculous people who have survived far longer
than any other nation who came against us. Our survival is in our soul, it is
in our blood, and it is in our DNA. In the book of Genesis, chapter 12, G-d says: I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you. I will
make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless
you, and curse those who curse you, and all peoples on the earth will be
blessed through you.
So sit tight, stand tall, and hold your head up high. Be
proud of who you are. G-d has our back.
In the words of the sages: they tried to kill us, we won,
let’s eat. Have a happy and sweet new year.
